Saturday, December 04, 2004
emotions in turmoil.
been feeling all sorts of emotions for the past 3 days..extreme happiness, depression and numbness. i guess hormones could do that to you huh...? sometimes i wonder whether is it really due to the hormones, or am i just pushing the blame onto it so that i will not hate myself for feeling that way? its hard to tell, its hard to differentiate, i guess i might never find out.
went to wanyu's grandma's wake just now after choir and we ended up talking abt me instead. she asked abt post breakup stuff and seems more concern abt me rather than me abt her =/
*sheepish* its only now at this moment that i realised that last week was the only week i didn't feel confuse abt my feelings or afraid to think or even look at him..just becos i didn't go to church. as much as i say that i'm not sad anymore or i'm half over it, it always had me wondering whether am i just living in denial or something. its been almost 3 months already..i cannot even remember the day that we really ended it. everything seems like a blur and somehow, i'm quite impress with myself for being able to get through this period of time and actually able to take things easily. i feel that i'm stronger than a.sharon emotionally and i will continue to be strong ^^
lydia remembered me telling her before that if one day things end between him and me, i will not talk to him anymore. but the thing is, i don't remember saying that! hmm..
*thinks thinks* i guess things like these slip our minds easily after saying it out cos at that point of time, it didn't seem like it was gonna happen cos things are still good. after these 3 months, i've kinda understand myself a little bit more i guess..when i'm committed, i will give my all..and my whole mind will be filled with it. but when things don't work out, i might not be able to put it off my mind totally, but at least i will simply let it go and tell myself that its not meant to be.
分手后的伤感已经逐渐的被“躲避”给取代了。
ok this is a boring entry, thank you for reading. i shall give you a useless fact to make up for it.
Useless fact of the day: Only 68 of 200 Anglican priests polled could name all Ten Commandments, but half said they believed in space aliens.
blip rambled on
Saturday, December 04, 2004
