Saturday, August 27, 2005
jumbled thoughts.
this week was a rollercoaster ride for me. was hit by a sudden memory on monday which totally caught me off guard and the pain i felt was actually physical, threatening to break me down and all i wanted to do was to crawl to a corner and cry. ended up running to agape again, seeking help from a.sharon and she did manage to calm me down eventually, restoring and getting my old self back. sometimes i really wonder what will be of me if she wasn't there..who will i go to? the amount of gratitude i feel cannot be measured at all cos i owe her so much.
even though throughout the whole week i was still feeling disturbed, but at least i managed to get some stuff off my mind, stuff which have been bothering me for months and years. i cannot believe that it is only now when i've wasted 19years of my life that i really start to appreciate the friends i have. how many have i lost throughout the years? to be so stupid as to feel that friends will always be there whether you bother to hang on to them ornot. it is true that they will be there, but effort must be made in order to cultivate deeper and stronger relationships with them, and to know that the person who will eventually be making a toast at your wedding will be someone who truly understands you.
heard alot of stuff that surprised and stunned me this week too. i am repulsed when here you are telling him you are not ready for a relationship and the next moment you are saying 'yes' to someone else. how insensitive can you get? how can you hurt his feelings this way? do you not feel his pain? it is disappointing to see pple taking feelings for granted and stepping all over them. sigh.
on a brighter note, a great friend of mine is praying hard for an ans. and i'm glad that he has finally found someone who shares the same weird habits with him, and to even go to the extend of wanting to share his most important responsibility. it is heartwarming to see two pple praying for God's will in their relationship and to give serious consideration instead of just jumping into one without thinking.
i shall pray for patience, wisdom and a clear mind so i can listen to what He has to say instead of what my heart is saying. i hope i don't end up doing something i will condemn myself for. arhhh.
blip rambled on
Saturday, August 27, 2005
Saturday, August 20, 2005
unable to comprehend.
i don't get some pple. when they come to you ranting about something that is bothering them and somehow expect you to say something to encourage or comfort them. but somehow, telling them to take it slow also cannot, sympathize with them also cannot, this cannot that cannot then what you expect us to say?? why don't you just TELL us what you expect us to tell you so that you can feel better? if we do not offer any of the above and just reply "uh ok." i bet you'll be pissed too. ridiculous.
if you don't want to hear such words from us, please! by all means, talk to the wall since it will prolly not make you feel more bothered than you already were.
blip rambled on
Saturday, August 20, 2005
be strong and take courage.
heard something last night which kinda discouraged me alot concerning my upcoming studies. and it was only then did i realise that i'm quite a weakling, choosing to dwell and focus on my short-comings instead of striving for some sort of victory. but after spilling out my fears to jireh, he sorta gave me loads of encouragement by telling me a long story. [yeah it was quite long, but no you did not cut into my slping time :)] so thankful to have someone hear me out and to offer kind words. and last night's QT talked about relying on God in times of trouble. and that we should not be discouraged by words of men becos in His eyes, nothing is impossible! since He had already put me into the course, He definitely has His will in it and i should rely on His wisdom instead of my own. thank You Lord for the angels sent to me :)
was just talkin to shihui yday abt how women are such mystical creatures. choosing to believe fervently that love will bestow upon them one day without realising that trust and faith holds such great importance. the fall of women is our inability to give full trust becos somehow, we will create an invisible barrier infront of us, holding back and trying to protect ourselves, thinking that everyone is out to hurt us somehow. words and actions just can't seemed to satisfy our need for affection becos someone out there will be getting something better then us. then we'll compare. and we'll doubt.
men are such misunderstood creatures! just becos they do not have the telephatic ability to sense our every need, we take that as their lack of concern for our
unspoken desires. even if they have already done all they could, somehow after a full moon it will all be forgotten while short-comings will forever be remembered for the next ten thousand
arguments. so now even while i'm typing this, nailing all my flaws to the wall, i can't help but think "oh my gosh i'm so unloveable". damn the female hormones. i should prolly grow a beard to balance it off.
women are mystical creatures? pah! psycho-paranoids more like it.
blip rambled on
Saturday, August 20, 2005
Friday, August 19, 2005
question mark.
since yesterday, tim have been bugging me to call sports sch to ask if the cheque for visa application is ready for collection. so he asked me to call them yday morning. i called. the cheque is apparently not ready yet. and before i left work i called again and got the answering machine. so early this morning when he came in, the first thing he asked me to do is to call sports sch. i called. and the person said the cheque will be ready for collection today. *heaves sigh of relief* so after lunch the person who prolly thinks i'm damn irritating, called and informed me the cheque is ready for collection. the following happened:
joyce: hey sports sch cheque can collect liao.
tim: oh can ah? but woodlands very far leh. can collect tmr ornot?
joyce: ...... tmr sat la. sch close.
tim: oh ya hor. i think i go down on monday la.
joyce: you ask me to call them 10 times since yesterday and you tell me now you collect on monday?! i bet they will hate us la. *incredulous* (%$%()#*$)%*%^**!!!!!!)
tim: ok la ok la..i try to go down today.
basket.
blip rambled on
Friday, August 19, 2005
Thursday, August 18, 2005
oh ho.
once upon a time, a sua ku by the name of joyce toh attempted to email the marketing manager of suntec city to request for an educational tour for indonesian students. since the email add is
jolee@sunteccity.com.sg, sua ku naturally assume that jolee is the name of the marketing manager. so addressing the email to "Dear Ms Jolee, blablabla", sua ku happily click Send.
its is only when the return receipt for the mail came back to her that she realised that the marketing manager's name is Ms Josephine Lee.
oh crap.
blip rambled on
Thursday, August 18, 2005
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
cogs unwinding.
daniel just told me that he found my ahma's appointment card in the sims2 game that i borrowed from him a few months ago. how amusing is that man! ha! maybe yija stuffed it into the box while putting stuff away from sight bah. hmm.
been blog reading for the past few days cos i've exhausted all news headlines on channelnewsasia and supermarket tabloids on yahoonews. stumbled upon a few familiar peeps' blogs and i say, they are highly amusing and interesting. hohoho. i have found more things to read and kill time already. i am happy. plus i managed to catch an episode of Ed last night! that show always reminds me of ivan cos we use to catch the show together. and becos of the scary resemblance between Ed and ivan. but he don't have to know that. :p as usual, the show is hilarious but its not a comedy to start with. its those ally mcbeal kinda funny with quirky dialogue and hilarious facial expressions. ed is just so cool la even tho he's a dork. see! nerds can be cool. just that its not a hair flinging, eye spasm winking and "how you doin" kinda cool. i prefer nerdy cool actually. at least i know he is not in love with himself.
*cough cough*anyways, the jcu person called me yday and gave me great news! i've been accepted! yay! hooray for me! i'll be starting sch next march so i still have the next few months to work and be independent! tho i'll prolly be cursing myself for going through the agony of studenthood in the near future, i shall still be happy that i'm gonna study something new. :)
------------------------------------------------------
dear daph, i know i'm not there to understand what u are going through and i bet you are feeling the headache as well. i'm sorry if i sounded harsh yesterday and made you upset. its just that i'm really worried for you la and i don't want your efforts to rebound and hurt you. i know its all out of concern and worry but please please worry for yourself first and leave the
subject to fend for
itself for the time being. sigh. i don't know what to say already. my phone is always on. call me k.
Useless fact of the day: People photocopying their buttocks are the cause of 23% of all photocopier errors worldwide.
blip rambled on
Wednesday, August 17, 2005
Monday, August 15, 2005
oyster pancake no oyster please.
yesterday was quite a busy day considering we had choir exchange in morning, 80th building anniversary in the afternoon and dinner at night. spent the day running between TA and TA2. everything yesterday seemed to be in
fff mode and no one seemed to wanna mellow down to
mf or something. was sitting around 3rd floor TA talkin to lydia, elena and serena and realised that having a conversation with them after lunch is quite a bad idea. think their chee cheong fun is drugged or something cos they were in extreme high mode. laughing and squealing at everything. at first their laughter was kinda contagious until my ears started ringing. its a miracle eugene, songen, yomay and yiheng managed to sleep through the racket. haha.
all in all, long story short, the service was kinda long, communion was a new experience all together, all choirs sang very well and i dozed off at some point during the service.
*sheepish* oh. and the dinner was horrible. the caterer is called hocklai and i think the food is worse then ahpeng tho the cold dish looks just like the past 10 cold dish that we have eaten before. the fact that they had orh nee couldn't even salvage the horrible food situation. and if hocklai is a branch out from ahpeng, then the food quality is like 3/10 la. i give them a 3 cos at least they gave us orh nee and that the waitress (looks like a man in a skirt wearing black bra. its scary.) comes around to our table every 5 mins to add ice to our already diluted water.
since i'm too lazy to phrase the things i wanna say into proper sentences, i shall make them in point form so at least you get the gist of it and you don't hafta read through my nonsense to get the point:
1) i met a pervert at my void deck on friday night. he was standing at a lil dark corner doing something sick. he was staring at me. i ran. he didn't chase. phew.
2) i'm going for the sept balai island mission trip. quite looking forward to it.
3) i'm considering going hainan island mission trip next yr again. hopefully i will have the money and time to go. hopefully this time i wouldn't get knocked down again.
4) in future during my wedding dinner, i want to have orh nee as the dessert. if you are invited, you will be eating fantastic orh nee while listening to the Righteous Brothers croon Unchained Melody in repeat mode.
5) i don't wanna have a wedding banquet. so i have no idea where will the orh nee as dessert will come in.
Useless fact of the day: According to the Population Council, people overwhelmingly tend to marry partners who live near them.
blip rambled on
Monday, August 15, 2005
Friday, August 12, 2005
the men don't get it.
*phone rings in office*timothy: joyce please open the back door barrier for me.
joyce: ok
*takes remote and walks out the back door**barrier lifted, joyce went back to the office and found a cockroach on the door hinge. immediately runs into the office and locks the door.*timothy:
*knocks on door* joyce:
*opens the door* just now got cockroach on the door so i locked it.
timothy:
*incredulous look* cockroaches can open door meh??
joyce:
*stumped* .....its a reflex action la.
The men just don't get it.
blip rambled on
Friday, August 12, 2005
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
meaningless talk.
didn't expect to spend the whole of national day holiday at home but i did eventually cos i had no where to go and the weather was too hot to go out. ended up watching all 8 discs of Emergency Room 24hrs, crying at every episode and wasting tissue paper. it was only when i went online that i realised everyone seemed to be at home as well! gosh do we not want to go out anymore?? that's a very morbid thought.
anyways, caught up with lydia last night online and we chatted till she got disconnected. she never fails to make me laugh even if its something extremely lame. ah well, last night was more of an 'unloading' chat and i got tons of things off my chest. i shall be forever thankful to have an unrelated cousin like her so she can listen to my crazy ramblings.
daphne seems to be facing some social problem over there in aussie. hmm. at times like these, Ms Tan, don't you just miss having me around?? heee! don't think too much and just do whatever you feel is right k! you can't and wun be able to please everyone anyway.
oh! was at long john silver buying lunch just now when i witness a very spastic yet familiar scene. the guy (young) behind the counter is picking a fight with the customer (also young) and their taunting argument sounded something like this:
customer: *pissed off face* come la come la come la come la! (repeat 20 times)
counter guy: *pissed off face as well* you go out you watch out you go out you watch out (also repeat 20 times)
customer: *to the senior counter person* i want to see your manager *turns to counter guy* come la come la!
counter guy: you don't come and act big infront of your girl!
*the gf meanwhile looked extremely embarressed*counter manager: *to counter guy* shut up! go in and shut up! *attempts to pull counter guy away from customer and nearly broke his neck*
*counter guy meanwhile goes into the kitchen and slams the door so loudly i think anyone within 20miles can hear him**oh yes. not to forget that the counter manager has an extremely loud voice! she was standing beside me while screaming at the counter guy i could feel my ear drums vibrate!*so when i finally left ljs, the pissed off customer did not touch his food but was on the phone with a murderous look. he is either calling for backup or looking for the cheapest supplier for parangs.
ladies and gentlemen (esp yuhua sec peeps), doesn't this bring back wonderful memories of our secondary sch lives? and during recess if a fight is to breakout, you will see meepok bowls flying around, littering the floor with auntie's famous laksa. whenever we walk out of the sch gate, there will be tons of hooligans standing outside waiting for the juvenile hooligans to finish sch. if you are observant enough you might see Mr Loh standing out there with the hooligans as well! on first look you might think he is there to ensure nothing erupts but on second thought, who can say he's not conspiring with them? ah. the precious memories of secondary school.
Useless fact of the day: I don't like meepok. I like meekia.
blip rambled on
Wednesday, August 10, 2005
Friday, August 05, 2005
cloud number nine.
i'm back from bangkok!! sad to say i only fulfilled my shopping dream and succeeded in walking till my ankle feels twisted, very bad backache and constant pain on my neck causing headache. but its still a great trip with great shopping kakis! did not get to eat 6-meals a day cos we could hardly find so many things to eat actually..aww. but a cup of hot chocolate a day from Black Canyon Coffee is good enough! not to forget somboon seafood, mr donut (5donuts for $2.50!!), suanlum night bazaar (fantastic place!!) and not to forget, pratunam wholesale market! noticed that i never mention chatuchak weekend market? becos that place is not good at all! sure there's alot of things to buy over there but they are so not interested in asians! they don't even wanna bargain with you becos they know the caucasians offer them a better price. ah well. there are better places to shop anyways.
oh! and ruoyun said she saw me at bangkok! and we were actually staying in the same hotel without realising or bumping into each other! unbelievable man! bangkok IS the next malaysia! even better i would say..food is so much cheaper and nicer, so many things to buy! i would gladly just go over there and stock up on my toiletries cos most of them are like half price compared to sg. all in all, its a great trip and i will be posting pictures up soon!
highlight of the day! i passed my driving!! i'm now a qualified driver with a proper license! a close shave with 18pnts! its a miracle and a blessing man! my whole heart dropped when i got route 8 aka the teckwhye route! but thankfully i managed to skip route 6!! muahaha! the morning lesson before my test was quite a disaster with me driving like an idiot and forgetting simple things. i'm sure if my instructor is still that Lai, i would not have come this far. thank God that i passed and i can start learning something new now! what would it be? salsa? latin? italian? cooking? hmm.
USeless fact of the day: I have no useless fact for you today. i'm smiling so much my cheek aches. =D
blip rambled on
Friday, August 05, 2005
