Monday, April 24, 2006
hamburgers.
i have a question: if you take a hamburger, put it into a blender and blend it till it becomes hamburger sauce, drizzle it over your burger and eat it, will you be eating one burger or two burgers? cos technically you are only eating one burger. and will you feel extra full cos of the additional burger that is blended into sauce? sauce ain't suppose to make you feel full right? hmm.
blip rambled on
Monday, April 24, 2006
Sunday, April 23, 2006
faith in little things.
i realise that i'm really pressuring myself to do well for school. can't help it or stop myself cos i really really want to do well. its ironic to be reading up on stress and anxiety and at the same time feeling them myself. its really quite tiring to keep this going but i can't seem to shake the uptightness away. throughout the whole day i can't stop thinking about work. about the many things i havent start on and the fact that no matter how many hours i put in, i still can't close the gap.
i know i should not be relying on my own intelligence and to have faith in small things, big things, all things, all this i know! but i'm fearful and doubtful of my own ability and probably doubtful of God's ability. it's easy to say have faith but i guess i'm not there yet. i hope i will be there soon. didn't meet the 75% mark i was hoping for in the mcq test. super disappointed. was staring at the score and willing it to go up, unable to pull my eyes away from the screen.
Obsession= Compulsive preoccupation with a fixed idea or an unwanted feeling or emotion, often accompanied by symptoms of anxiety.sigh. on a brighter note, i finally made specs today, its baby pinkish metal frame and it looks real nice. gonna get it in 1 weeks time.yay. got a pair of johnsons contact lense for free (very soft, very comfortable) and bought new curtains for my room. i should probably sound proof my room next to block out the noisy squawking birds in the early mornings or i could just hire a hitman to shoot them all. we dont scream into your nests at night when you sleep do we? take a hike and squawk somewhere else.
anyhoo, think i'll go cheer myself up and watch sleepless in seattle. i'm happy to know that people think of me when they see sleepless in seattle. best movie ever!
blip rambled on
Sunday, April 23, 2006
Friday, April 14, 2006
we are the reason.
As little children, we would dream of christmas morn
And all the gifts and toys, we knew we'd find
But we never realized a baby born one blessed night
Gave us the greatest gift of our lives
We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reasonThat He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
As the years went by we learned more about gifts
The giving of ourselves and what that means
On a dark and cloudy day a man hung crying in the rain
Because of love, because of love
We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reasonThat He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
I've finally found the reason for living
It's in giving every part of my heart to Him
In all that I do every word that I say
I'll be giving my all just for Him, for Him
We are the reason that He gave His life
We are the reasonThat He suffered and died
To a world that was lost He gave all He could give
To show us the reason to live
He is my reason to live
blip rambled on
Friday, April 14, 2006
Monday, April 10, 2006
sickened.
i realised how easy words are able to change someone's perspective of the situation. just a twist and others will be led to believe that you are infact the suffering victim. i am not that self-righteous to proclaim that i believe everyone is good and that they will all change for the better when they grow up. cos frankly, i'm just a cynical hag that build walls and takes words with spoonfuls of salt and what happened the last time is really still etched in my memory. that is why i have no idea why i believed you in the first place.
i do not doubt for a second that what you told me really happened, but how much of it is accurate and untwisted, i dont know. what bothers me is that you chose to come to me with all that. is it because you already expected me to believe and to sympathise with you? or am i not the only one bluffed into it? it sickens me to realise that you have once again lied to my face. i find it really sad to reflect on whatever you have said in the past and categorising them as lies but honestly, i cannot even start to imagine myself believing another word you say.
how easy it is to lose faith in the words of others because of people like you who manipulates words and conjure up lies. these are reasons why people build up defensive barriers and choose to be skeptical. i can tell you i'm really disappointed but i doubt you care anyway.
blip rambled on
Monday, April 10, 2006
Monday, April 03, 2006
blanks.
into the second week of school and i'm already behind in my chapter reading. =/ realised that after the long hiatus, i cannot seemed to study effectively. i guess i should probably give myself a little more time to get into the momentum of things. current aspiration: to be a full fledged mugger if i can manage it. though a 3hour lecture sounded potentially looming, i was surprised to find that time seemed to fly past cos there's really no time for me to feel sleepy even when i'm having night lecs. there's constantly new terms to learn, concepts to understand and situations to ponder about. i'm actually having a gd time right now =) hopefully this attitude will persist for the next 2 (or maybe 3) years. heh.
things are pretty quiet now that ahma's in the nursing home. the sound of
nothing is really soothing to the soul and i can finally sit in the living room and read. i've also gotten my room back and after such a long time, i bid farewell to the feet of legolas, whom i've been beneath for the past 1.5years. yay. i'm now in the process of making my room look less like a storage area and more like a bedroom but alas! creativity and interior designing has never been my forte hence i'm stumped.
however! i drew up a list of things i want in my room:
- a pretty mirror. necessity.
- a nice wall clock.
- some available wall space. -.-
- this current computer.
- a bean bag or a small sofa.
- a nice lamp? hmm.
- a comfortable chair.
all the above shouts a trip to ikea. shall find time to go and hopefully stumble across other stuff to beautify my bare room. spent the afternoon cleaning up my room and throwing away accumulated rubbish lurking beneath the shadows. was reading through christmas cards (decided to keep them) and reminiscing about the past years when it became pretty clear: people
do come and go without me realising or remembering how. can't seemed to remember how it dissolved into nothing back then but i'm guessing it is probably my fault. dont really know how to salvage it now that it's gone cos i can't just go apologising out of the blue. =/ so now, subconsciously i think the reason for me building walls around myself is not because i want to protect myself, but rather, to
prevent myself from unknowingly hurting others cos the damage can be so easily inflicted and the connection easily destroyed.
distance distance.p/s: daph, whats up with you? blog entry wasn't..uh..informative. =/ injured my finger playing ball yesterday =( swollen and super painful.blah.
blip rambled on
Monday, April 03, 2006
