Thursday, July 14, 2005
frustrated.
i feel that for once, i've found where my interest lies. to know people, to understand the way people think, to be able to relate to them and hopefully able to provide help to them. for once, i know what i want to do. but somehow, just seconds when i feel that i'm nearer to my goal and that my prayers are answered, i'm being pulled back to reality cos financial wise i'm just not able to afford it. but i feel the urge at the back of my mind, to work harder so i could eventually attain my goal.
part-time? full-time? i really wonder if i should take the former so i could work and study at the same time..but that will definitely not do for me cos it will take all my concentration away. what abt the latter? should i even think of throwing the burden onto my parents? make them carry the weight of my education? i don't know. but i've been praying and hoping for a sign to be shown to me, and for the past few days, everywhere i look i see signs that tell me i should not further in courses i have no interest in, but rather to pursue an education that is meaningful to me. life is too short to waste it on wrong and rash decisions.
i would be lying if i said i don't feel a upset that i'm the younger one. and that thoughts of resentment doesn't come to me cos the funds are already used up. is that the way its gonna be? only one will pull through and the o ther one left behind? its so frustrating. somehow i feel that God is telling me something, is showing me a sign, the sign that i was looking for! He is telling me what i really want to achieve in life, but it will come with trials and tribulations. is that the sign you wanna show me? i can't be sure. is that it?
*you might not remember or know what you did, but you did it alright :)
if You would just make a way for me, let me be able to find a way to do this, i PROMISE i will work hard.
blip rambled on
Thursday, July 14, 2005
